Helplessness

We all have that fear of bugs, heights…the usual. What I’ve discovered as my greatest fear is helplessness. When I heard about the earthquake in Haiti, I hated the fact that all I could do is donate $20 and watch the news. It hit me so hard because this is something we discuss in the classroom, all safe and what not…and I hated that I was restricted to that. I have the most intense desire to volunteer and go there..yet I am bound here to the very institution that is supposed to prepare me to perhaps be a helping hand in future situations like the Haiti earthquake.
I feel absolutely horrible knowing I’ve done my best, but the problem remains because of some other factor that is not in my control. This is why I can’t hide in a church bubble, or stay in Canada. I’ve come to the realization that I am homeless now because home is where I will be able to make the greatest difference..where my skills can be utilized so I will not feel helpless when situations occur.

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One thought on “Helplessness

  1. “bound to the very institution” etc. – but its that very institution that has enabled such a desire to help. would you really feel such an urgency if you were not in poli-sci? as heartless as it may sound, being in science i don’t feel anything beyond sympathy and contributing my own $20. and besides, you’ll be graduating from said institution in a scarce 3 months (if you decide to grad before or after europe =P). not to mention that feeling helpless is what makes us human and dependent on God. this could be your “He gives us strength in our weaknesses”.

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