“Sex is Essential” – Social Conditioning?

Upon the end of my most recent “relationship” (for numerous reasons, the quotations are necessary), one of the reasons the manfriend cited as a reason to end things is my no sex clause. The fact that I am a rarity in my generation is never forgotten and for most times, except for the rare occasion, I relish in this distinctive characteristic. The reaction to this lifestyle choice is met with a myriad of responses, some commending me, some with surprise, and rarely, with aghast. My said ex-manfriend stated that he believed that sex is essential to a relationship and I can understand where this is coming from. Sex is the ultimate physical sharing between a man and woman and I suppose in this case, the utmost expression of affection via physical means. Such an opinion is held by many…yet I would argue that sex doesn’t need a relationship and this sort of thing is perhaps becoming rather popular. My friend made an interesting comment once when I was telling her about my budding relationship; I talked about how he would brush my hair back or kiss my forehead/cheek. Her response was along the lines of: “I’m so happy for you! You’ve found someone that is genuinely interested in you.” Whatttt? So the “cute” expressions of affection are of the genuine nature whereas further physicality is lesser? This doesn’t make sense!…or does it?

I’m not here to talk about the reasoning behind my lifestyle choice, although I am unashamed to say that it stems from my beliefs, but rather on the lifestyle choice of sex in relationships. I hope this doesn’t come off as judgemental, but I don’t think it will. My question is, when did sex become necessary for a non-platonic relationship to be successful? I would assert that it is through social conditioning that this is the case. In whatever entertainment now (except…maybe Disney, but you never know), the two parties involved in the romantic ‘relationship’ always have sex, always. Through societal influences, not having sex in your relationship is odd, perhaps…even wrong. A bit contradictory in an era that encourages people to seek individualism or their true selves and not fall into social conformity…

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2 thoughts on ““Sex is Essential” – Social Conditioning?

  1. hear hear! social conditioning from media influences, no doubt. or the sexual revolution, but one might argue that was also from media/entertainment influence. i mean, how did we jump for the victorian attitudes on courtship to hook ups now?

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