Marriage – Bliss to Hate

This is around the season where wedding planning is in full swing for those planning to tie the knot in the spring or summer. Of course, I am (thankfully) not part of this process and won’t be for quite a while. However, after watching a documentary on CBC, listening to my mother’s ‘concerns’ (I call them rants) about a Christian/Non-Christian marital union and watching a number of films which depict infidelity and dirty divorce spats, marriage is not too far from my mind. Last night, I also read an article about a couple who engaged in an experiment scanning the differences between those in long-term, committed relationships/marriages vs. those newly in love. What struck me wasn’t the results of this experiment,but the fact that they had the hardest time finding people who were married for a long time. When my own parents divorced, the divorce rate was around 50%. According to a CBC article, 4 in 10 first marriages will end in divorce. I think the thing that I’m most curious about is how do you go from loving one another and willing to do anything for that other person to hating them. Is it the small things that you previously dismissed that aggravate you? Lack of communication? The wearing off ‘love blindness’? Also, is marriage taken less seriously as before? It no longer seems like marriage is seen as a life commitment, but rather something to engage in until things don’t work out. I suppose one could also question the motive behind marriage. Undoubtedly, love and affection is part if not the major part of deciding to get married, but for women, there’s that blasted biological clock that keeps ticking away. Let us not forget the social pressure of all your other friends getting married when you get to you’re late twenties. Anyways, I’m not against divorce; both my mother and father are happier now that they are divorced. However, is the ease of getting divorce just an easy out? A number of times, you hear about celebrities getting divorced because of ‘irreconcilable differences’.  What the hell does that even mean? Does it imply that for some, there was a lack of planning and communication before marriage to understand the different nuances of your partner and that you found them out later on? I suppose such a post could be considered as pessimistic or even inappropriate on Valentine’s Day, but it’s food for thought.

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