I’ve always liked the fall season, even though the current fall has been wetter than normal. Oh, I like rain in the spring when the weather is warm..but being cold and wet only equals to misery for this commuter. But what I really like about fall is that it’s a season for new things to begin. I know that we often equate birth or rebirth, new beginnings perhaps, with spring; however, with fall, as leaves fall from the trees, our old burdens and troubles fall to the ground; they are no longer held in our hands rather have been released with the understanding that with fall and winter and the cold weather than accompanies these two seasons, we are given a time to reflect and rebuild for the spring, so that when we are a given an opportunity to rise again, we are ready.
For those who know me, they know that I’ve always been relatively ambitious; in fact, a great deal of this blog has touched upon my personal challenges that accompany the pursuit of these ambitions. Although my ambitions are generally associated with my career, I have said before and say again that my career is not just my career but is a relatively large expression of God’s purpose for me. I could say that the general purpose of my existence here is to aid in the betterment in the lives of others; my passion is truly for those who seem to have lost their voice and power against the circumstances that they are faced with. With this consideration, I can be frustrated by the seemingly lack of impact my current position allows me to have. I understand that policy development, especially at the level in which I am part of, is a large overarching concept, one which is removed by what is happening on the ground. Yet I know that God has my life planned out to do what He wants me to do and that in the opportunities that He has granted me with, that I am only developing the skills necessary to perform the next step of this overall purpose.
Perhaps I’m a bit of a nerd or overachiever, but as the cold weather seeps in, I have begun to compile a list and general time frame in which I want to complete the items of list. They are the following:
- understanding the fundamentals of micro/macroeconomics (unknown)
- become fluent in French via language software (~18 months)
- become fluent in Spanish (~18 months)
- participate in Toastmasters (1x/week)
- complete a speech writing course (1 semester)
- volunteer abroad (6-12 months)
- complete my masters degree (2-4 years)
Why do I want to do all these things? Each item reflects a shortfall I have and I do not know or to be honest..really think that I can accomplish all these things in the time frame I set out. The time frame is five years or before I turn 30. Why 30? I don’t know. I feel that by that age, I will have a personal life to consider and that it would be markedly difficult if I want to pursue certain items on that list. Each item is a reflection of what I do not have to pursue the certain good I think I could do. I want to be ready for each opportunity that God gives me; I don’t want to flounder or be complacent.
Aside from the time constraint I have imposed upon myself, I think the biggest struggle I will have is to maintain a humble heart and understanding that this is not for career advancement or professional recognition, but instead, for the purpose that God has created me for. Although I have written out the perfect understanding of my career, I am ashamed to say that sometimes I stray from it. Let me not wander, but instead maintain this perfect understanding.
Queries, Concerns and Rants of a Wannabe Writer 