As frustrating and occasionally heart wrenching this journey has been so far, and as much as I sometimes wish that it never happened, I don’t think I would trade the learning experiences for anything. I’ve learnt a bit about what it means to be involved in a relationship where Christ is the centre piece and foundation, what it means to achieve perfect peace in the storm, letting go and clinging to God. The lessons haven’t stopped there and I thought that I would share what I’ve most recently learnt.
I need to learn to be content as a single person, a child under God associated with no one else but Him. I’m not disregarding my family and friends, my community, but they are not the foundation of who I am; rather, they are an extension, an expression of God in my life. A significant other should be an extension, not a foundation and this is a concept I’ve been struggling immensely with. I’ve always imagined that when I achieved this feat in my life, that everything would fall into place and be okay because it didn’t matter what would happen because he and I would be together. The concept alone isn’t wrong per se but the extent to which I mentally applied it. If I became part of a couple, it’s not a tick off the list of goals I want to achieve but rather an ongoing pursuit, it’s another chapter in my life not a ‘happy ever after’ ending. Relationships take work and although I’ve always known this, I believed in something less realistic.
Today we are told that being alone is not man’s natural state and it is not, but being alone or single perhaps, should not be a state that is ridiculed. An article by BBC touches on this but I would like to expand it further by including the concept of faith. Is your relationship with God and that relationship alone enough? We know that we as people are imperfect and have the ability and sometimes do hurt the people that we love; on the flip side, those we love are man and imperfect and will hurt us now and then. Then there’s forgiveness for those actions but I won’t touch on that today.
I am not knocking on love at all but I’m talking about the greatest love of all and whether or not we think that this is enough. I know it and believe it but truly applying is a struggle for me..however, it is something truly worth aspiring towards.