Girls

I actually had a completely different post put together, ready to be posted online when I realized and decided that something needed to be addressed first. The concept of community is still a new and astounding thing to me; it’s something I’ve always craved for yet feared. To be truly involved in a community of people, there has be a give and take, a commitment towards vulnerability with people you continue to grow in trust, respect and love. My community of people consists of the friends I’ve met throughout my travels, my family, those old friends I’ve known for more than a decade and those that surround me here in Edmonton. It is this emphasis that I try to carry and apply to my life, regardless of how busy my schedule can get.

Today, I want focus on one particular group of friends that have really opened my eyes in the past year, that have surrounded me with so much support and love that I feel the need to write a sort of a love letter. Today, I’m writing to my girls. That’s right. For quite a while, I have scorned the friendship between women because I saw a lot of the negative pettiness that existed between women and the drama, oh the drama. But the past year or so, God has really put an emphasis of meeting and developing close relationships with girls in Edmonton and rejuvenating and deepening the already close relationships with my girls that live elsewhere. So here we go 🙂

Dear Girls,

I’m not quite sure how to start this letter. Somehow, I don’t think the usual greetings will suffice but hey, I’m just killing time right now as I try to find the right words. Your friendship has been a light in my world. I’ve never experienced so much joy and support as I have in the last year I’ve been in Edmonton. I always knew that God grounded me in one place for a relatively prolonged period of time so that I may develop relationships but I never thought I would’ve found you girls. You are the girls that rock my socks. Somehow, we bounded like glue. Actually, in some cases, it was almost like lightening and we were instant friends. If I look back, all I can think of is ‘hawt diggity! we became friends so quickly’. And it’s not just a surface friendship, no. It’s a friendship that delves into the reality of who we are, the struggles that we face, not just with boys but with life. Most of all, we unite in our faith, the one thing that brought us together in the first place, the one thing that enables this deep connection that we share. It doesn’t matter if we climb, bike, run or swim together, though we probably do at least one of those things together. Maybe it’s when you call me out for lunch or a movie night, or willingness to squeeze in a short coffee date into your busy schedule because you know I need some face time with someone who cares and loves me. Maybe it’s when you answer instantly to my text and tell me to call ASAP because you know I need to talk to someone NOW. Maybe it’s because you are willing to pray with me regardless of what I’m going through, whether or not you’re physically with me or because you just keep me in your prayers. You inspire me. You inspire me with your triumphs, with your struggles and with your faith in God. You inspire others; you just don’t know it, but you do. You were uniquely created by the God who loves you unconditionally and bestowed gifts upon you so that you may be a salt and light to the world. You have got to know that you have achieved that in my life. So let me end this before I get too sappy: Thank you.

B

Networking

One of the biggest lessons I learnt in DC was that networking is important and really, the ‘real’ way to get around in this world. By the end of the program, I had distribute few (I was but an intern after all) but collected many business cards from people that I met at various events. Undoubtedly, the development of this particular skill enabled me to come out of my shell and really have no fear in getting to know people that I have never met before. I don’t insert myself into conversations at whim but rather, latch onto some sort of commonality between the to-be speaker and I/provide a (must be genuine) compliment. Men are a bit easier to speak to but that’s because I’m mainly around men during my free time (climbing and all…no, not that kind of climbing, rock climbing damn it). Women, well, usually there’s a familiarity sisterhood thing going for us but sometimes, oddly and unfortunately, we view our fellow woman as competition. But all that is a whole different discussion.

I certainly would not have met as many people as I did during my travels and even during my time here if I didn’t know how to ‘network’. Granted, I find myself much more comfortable speaking to people unofficially, say the person who’s in line with me at the grocery store or reading an interesting book at the coffee shop. No I’m (most likely) not hitting on you! Rather, I love hearing people’s stories. I think it’s a way we as people connect and learn from one another. Now…how does all this connect to this concept of ‘networking’?

As aforementioned, networking is one of those things that is pounded into our heads about how important it is. Yet I wonder, does that then create this mindset that we should get to know people with the understanding that we only really care about meeting these people so that we can use them to further our own professional objectives? With approximately a month left in my program in DC, I became very disenchanted with this idea. I saw it everywhere. I, myself, cannot be counted as innocent of this mindset. However, I truly resent it.

The good friends that I met throughout my education and into my career are first and foremost good friends. On some level, we all recognize the career status most of us have achieved and continue towards; that in the future, if our careers continue to build and grow, that we will be in certain positions of dare I say it? power. That through our shared experiences as students and young professionals and through our friendships, we have inadvertently created a professional network.  At the present time and in the future, we will be/continue to be in positions to help one another. But let me emphasize this, our friendship comes first; if they don’t, they should. These friendships were not built upon the idea that we could ‘use’ one another but really, built on the general principles that define the concept of friendship that apply to everyone, even the little ones (well, okay, we may not be building forts out of blankets together..but you know). It aggravates me when I see some of my friendships slip into the ‘let’s use one another’ side of things. I absolutely loathe it.

I just recently joined LinkedIn; honestly, I think it’s a great tool to remain connected with the people that I met during my time abroad and otherwise. Although I am still in touch with my friends on a personal level, it’s also great to see how they are doing professionally as many of us are on the same boat. However, we must not forget the human side of our friendships, regardless of where they may have sprung from. That first and foremost, our friends are exactly that, our friends. If we fall into the idea of using one another and leave our ‘friendship’ at that, we are only building grounds for the ‘dog-eat-dog’ approach to the development of our careers. My fantastic mentor, MO, truly demonstrated to me that building genuine relationships with people and treating them with respect and care is a very viable way to build one’s career; just because you care, doesn’t automatically mean you’re incompetent. This is perhaps a wee bit extreme, but I hope it was thought provoking.